Before Zoe came into my life almost 5 months ago, I had time to myself
every. single. day.
Now that my full time job is mommy, it's been harder than I imagined to get time for myself. There's a combination of not having time or energy for myself and of not making the time available when I do have energy. It takes effort to carve out time when the baby isn't physically attached to me, and usually I use that time to cook or clean. It has definitely gotten easier to have that time as Zoe gets older, but she's not at the point where she has long predicable (or as predictable as a baby can be) naps or can play by herself for more than 5 minutes. This means that I need to consciously make the time to give her to my husband or ask a friend or family member for a break.
The problem is that as soon as I give her to someone else, I want to hang around! What is up with that? I can go hours wishing for some time to stop worrying about her, but as soon as I can, I want to hang out with her and whoever she's with.
And then there's breastfeeding. I'm the one who gets to feed her. I love breastfeeding, but it does mean that for the last 5 months I haven't gone much more than 3 hours without having that bonding time. I've never been that committed to something in my life! Well, maybe coffee in university... Even if I wanted to get help at night, anyone trying to give her a bottle and then get her back to sleep would just mean that she's up for longer and I wake up anyway. Why even bother my husband? He can't get back to sleep like I can.
Maybe I've redefined what time for myself means. Maybe time to watch my baby interacting with someone she loves and trusts is the new watching a movie. I don't want to make my whole life revolve around my child because she is not mine, she belongs to herself. She won't always need me, which I guess is the goal of parenting. It's okay to forget my personal and professional goals right now and give my baby 100% of my attention - she won't be a baby for a very long time and I'm not planning on having any others. This year of my life is most definitely the hardest but probably the most amazing as I watch my daughter learn new things every day.
Zoe's birth was also the beginning of the rest of my life as a mom. And I sure as hell don't know a lot about parenting. I don't know how to balance being a mom and a person. I don't know what my parenting style is or how I discipline. I just know that I have to take this thing day by day and find the good in every day. And today I got some time to think for myself by writing this, so that's a win :)
Saturday, 18 January 2014
Friday, 17 January 2014
Nursing Necklace
Now that baby is almost 5 months old, she has very wander-y hands while she's nursing. In an effort to spare myself from her tiny razor claws, I decided it was time to get myself a nursing/teething necklace.
There were some at the store that I went to that were wooden beads without the teething ring, but little miss chomper loves to bite on things and I wanted to have the ring available. I also like the look of the ones with a ring and beads together, but maybe I'll find one of those in the future.
They look really simple to make, but I don't know where to find safe materials, nor am I really willing to put in the effort at this point to find them. I think the silicon ones in bright colours look awesome but every time I spend money on a retail item (ie. not handed down or thrifted), I want to go as checmical-free as possible. She will inevitably put loads of toxins into her mouth just by experiencing our world, so I just like to feel that I'm contributing to her safety. For all I know the pretty bright silicon ones are just fine, but my knowledge of their creation vs. wood is low. I know how a tree grows.
Overall I am very happy having bought this necklace and even the baby seems to love it.
I wanted something as natural as I could get, so I went with a natural maple finished with organic beeswax and jojoba oil. It does feel a bit dry though, so I think I'll coat it with some coconut oil. It looks simple and nice and hangs out just where little hands can find it.
There were some at the store that I went to that were wooden beads without the teething ring, but little miss chomper loves to bite on things and I wanted to have the ring available. I also like the look of the ones with a ring and beads together, but maybe I'll find one of those in the future.
They look really simple to make, but I don't know where to find safe materials, nor am I really willing to put in the effort at this point to find them. I think the silicon ones in bright colours look awesome but every time I spend money on a retail item (ie. not handed down or thrifted), I want to go as checmical-free as possible. She will inevitably put loads of toxins into her mouth just by experiencing our world, so I just like to feel that I'm contributing to her safety. For all I know the pretty bright silicon ones are just fine, but my knowledge of their creation vs. wood is low. I know how a tree grows.
Overall I am very happy having bought this necklace and even the baby seems to love it.
Friday, 13 December 2013
Green Mama: Reusable Breast Pads
When I was pregnant, I thought a lot about my breasts leaking once I was breastfeeding. I bought a few kinds of reuseable breast pads to try out and honestly, after a few weeks I wasn't using them anymore. It did take me past the 6 week mark for my body to make the right amount of milk (I was an over-producer), and as such, leaky breasts were part of my life. At night the engorgement was so bad that I couldn't use reuseable pads or else I would have sopping wet cloth next to my skin. For a while I had to use disposable pads. Then, as my supply started to regulate itself, I switched to just using a breast pad when I was nursing to account for the let down.
Now I have a bunch of pads, some round, some heart shaped (I don't know why), around my house that I find in weird places. They do make good coasters though.
One thing I learned is that I hate the kind with the really soft fuzzy lining. That shit sticks to my nipples once they get wet! Ouch.
Now I have a bunch of pads, some round, some heart shaped (I don't know why), around my house that I find in weird places. They do make good coasters though.
One thing I learned is that I hate the kind with the really soft fuzzy lining. That shit sticks to my nipples once they get wet! Ouch.
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
Product Review: AppleCheeks Diapers
Update: my daughter is now 3 months and about 17 pounds. We switched to size 2 diapers a few weeks ago after experiencing leaks with size 1 as a rise issue and there have been no leaks since.
I tried a handful of diaper combos out and my favourite for this girl has definitely been AppleCheeks. They don't leak and come clean when I wash them. I use the 2 ply bamboo inserts along with the purple stay-dry bamboo booster. I use Nature Clean All Purpose Cleaning Lotion to wash them in. I do a cold rinse, followed by a hot wash with a tiny bit of soap, followed by another cold rinse.
I actually only have 4 covers right now and probably around 12 inserts. This works out perfectly because I wash every other day (this is just when my small washer happens to have the right amount of diapers in it). So I use only about 2 covers every day and change the inserts. I do not use cloth at night because 7th Generation disposables just work better for us than having the hassle of changing baby in the middle of the night.
My daughter has never had a diaper rash (knock on wood) and we've never used any creams or powders on her. I love using cloth diapers, but as I like to travel light, I don't use them when I'm out and about. I just let her wear the cloth diaper she has on and bring disposables for if she needs a change.
I am absolutely loving the fact that AppleCheeks has been doing all of this work releasing special edition diapers and new colours. It adds an element of fun and fashion, not just butt covers.
As a side note, if you buy these at Baby On The Hip in Leslieville with your Toronto Live Green card, you get 10% off and these diapers don't seem to go on sale. For convenience (but higher prices), well.ca is also carrying them now.
I tried a handful of diaper combos out and my favourite for this girl has definitely been AppleCheeks. They don't leak and come clean when I wash them. I use the 2 ply bamboo inserts along with the purple stay-dry bamboo booster. I use Nature Clean All Purpose Cleaning Lotion to wash them in. I do a cold rinse, followed by a hot wash with a tiny bit of soap, followed by another cold rinse.
I actually only have 4 covers right now and probably around 12 inserts. This works out perfectly because I wash every other day (this is just when my small washer happens to have the right amount of diapers in it). So I use only about 2 covers every day and change the inserts. I do not use cloth at night because 7th Generation disposables just work better for us than having the hassle of changing baby in the middle of the night.
My daughter has never had a diaper rash (knock on wood) and we've never used any creams or powders on her. I love using cloth diapers, but as I like to travel light, I don't use them when I'm out and about. I just let her wear the cloth diaper she has on and bring disposables for if she needs a change.
I am absolutely loving the fact that AppleCheeks has been doing all of this work releasing special edition diapers and new colours. It adds an element of fun and fashion, not just butt covers.
As a side note, if you buy these at Baby On The Hip in Leslieville with your Toronto Live Green card, you get 10% off and these diapers don't seem to go on sale. For convenience (but higher prices), well.ca is also carrying them now.
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